hey L.T.
you are having doubts whether SMU is for you,
you do not like the environment where you have to speak up, or maybe not yet
you do not understand a lot of things taught in class
you feel insecure
you feel that you have to do something about it
and in the process you might be too hard on yourself
you are feeling stressed
you are not enjoying school
school turns out to be not as easy as you once thought
you want to get into deans list in the 1st year
you might be giving yourself unneccessary pressure.
there are some projects here and there, when things are not up to your standard you tend to redo and make things work your way
which may have burned you
you are actually coping fine but you don't feel secure so you see the need to work hard.
work hard
work hard.
it is as if you are going to school to work, not so much about learning
but the most important thing that i think you should learn
is to be less hard on yourself
this is the place for you to vent your feelings out.
at least you have this place to vent your feelings out
good.
you need to tell yourself that grades are not everything
there are many things in life which are more important
however,
i know that you are giving yourself a test
you are testing your own limits
you want to know if you really among the top
you want to work hard for this whole semester and see if you are really deans list caliber
i respect that
so when you feel unjust/ tired
you can come to this place to vent.
because you are a noob, you don't have a girlfriend to talk to you and share your sorrows :D
so work hard
and by the end of this semester you should have no regrets
good luck, and persevere